“Part of what I do involves making it all look effortless, so I’ve never really discussed it with anyone, but I really feel like focussing on myself now. There’s a lot on my plate: Amanda, track and football, my grades, my university application--”“That’s still a long way off”, said Kira.I shook my head.“Early action”, I said. “I barely have a month to finish it.”“Oh? Where are you going?”“Stanford.”Kira whistled.“I always forget you could be a nerd yourself.”“It’s not like you’re dumb,. But then, over the years that all changed. Just somehow slipped away, slow like. I never noticed, I should of, but I didn’t. Now, all she cares about is if dinner’s hot and on time. Or the house is clean. She’s not there anymore. Like some how it all died.” “Why you so frustrated, especially after this morning? Thought you got all that frustration out’your system.” “Frustration? You wanna talk about frustration? Let me tell you about it. I have that feeling everyday from my family. I’ve got. Timmy did it with two other guys and didn't tell me?Of course you all know what we all did.He told me that I was his first. He didn't force me into it, I did it voluntarily, but it was all Timmy's idea and Timmy has a way of making sure that he gets whatever he wants.His dad has some high paying power job and they have the biggest and nicest house in the neighborhood. With a huge in ground pool in the backyard. Timmy invited me over to go swimming. Just him and me and nobody else in the house.. I want a lifelong commitment and a family, with lots of children. Money’s no object. I would gladly share what I have with my wife and children. Sadly, I’ve met enough manipulators and gold diggers to become permanently jaded. And there lies my dilemma. Sorry, mom and dad, looks like you’re going to have to content yourselves with having Jack and Jill as your grandchildren. I’m flying solo. Forever. I am not designed for a couple’s life. I’m a smart man who goes out there and gets things done..
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