It was the beginning of something new for me. I was having sexual fantasies, and I was developing a desire to fulfill them. I had always looked at men as a means of satisfying some emotional need. I wanted them to like me, and somehow thereby validate my worth. Now I was beginning to see men in a different light, more as a means of satisfying my physical desires with a lot less emotional baggage. I didn’t necessarily want them to like me. I wanted them to desire me. I wanted to turn them on,. It took a while, but I managed to get it done without lopping off any of the important bits. I admired my work in the mirror and dabbed on some cologne before making my way to the front room. I lit the candles, and some incense, dimmed the lights, and stretched out, naked, on the couch to await the arrival of the girls. By now I was used to the scent of incense and was beginning to enjoy the way the contorted faces of the gargoyles seemed to become animated in the flickering light of the. I filled the glass with the frozen margarita mix and took my step mother her nasty treat. She had two more of these dirty concoctions before going out for dinner with her girlfriends. While she was getting ready to go out I patiently waited until I knew she was naked in the shower, and then walked in to her bathroom to ask her if she would bring something home from the restaurant for me to eat later. I stood and watched her soaping her gorgeous body for several minutes before speaking. My step. Just sadness. It took me a very long time and a couple of whiskeys to finally fall asleep. The next day passed quickly. I noticed a certain tiredness with the participants. After giving it all for two days during the sessions, and most probably a few more drinks in the evenings than they would normally have at home, most people had lost their sparkle. For the last evening, my secretary had organized a walking dinner. She had apparently foreseen that people wanted to relax and not spend.
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