When that happened, my mom went cold. We left pretty soon afterwards. I went straight from my Aunt's to my job in one car while mom and dad took the other one home.A few hours later I drove home, having temporarily forgotten about the "argument". Walking in the back door, I immediately entered the kitchen. They were waiting for me. They'd probably heard me in the driveway.Mom was sitting on one of the kitchen chairs, facing the right side of the room and Dad was standing next to her. It was. "I am Queen Vulva. We have already captured your men and have them working in our Viagra mine." Cheers could be heard from afar. "We need more male labor which is why we are commandeering your spacecraft. Plus we need males for propagating our race." More cheers from the bowels of the mine."But, Queen Vulva, how do you speak our language so fluently?" Ripley asked.The Queen explained, "For years we have picked up signals from your various media outlets: CNN, NBC, ESPN, and YouPorn."I remained. Every now and again, Her husbands friend John would stop over and they would mostly hang out in the garage. They would usually have a few beers and bullshit for a couple hours. I found John attractive, and very intrigueing. He seemed mysterious to me, and made me very curious about him. Knowing that John would always come in and say Bye to Brenda before he left, I would hang out a little longer also. After about a month, and about eight visits from John, Brenda noticed John was visiting way. “For those people, the massage is free, and on top of that, they never even give us a tip. It’s a big deal if you get a 10 rupees tip from them” she continued.“So how much does Radhika Aunty charge for giving such a message here, Didi?” I asked; my curiosity aroused fully now.“Jignesh Bhai, the rate of body massage here is 500 rupees for an hour, but...” she paused, as if unsure of continuing. Her hands were now sub-consciously and rhythmically massaging my lower back. “But ... we take extra.
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