I'm In Love With The Shape Of You

I looked at Cynthia and her bright blue eyes full of fear and worry. I focused on her and slowly the pain fell away. I kept on her, taking in the full flavor of what appeared to be her emotions. Images briefly flashed in my head of the day dad died, her first spanking, etc. Suddenly, I realized I had stopped screaming."Are you all right, Sam?" she timidly asked. I nodded and began pushing (the best I way I can describe what I did) the pain away. As I did this, I noticed I was able to pick up. I had a great apartment. Hence didn’t want to leave it and decided to give it another try. A lot of desperate guys sent their interests. But I was obviously not looking for guys. So I rejected it outright.About 50 days and two rental cycles had passed, and the third one was approaching. Now it was getting really difficult for me to manage the rent, groceries, maid, internet and a whole lot of charges all alone. The rent deadline was approaching in about a week. Just then I got a phone call. It. She stops and looks at me, and whatever she was going to say dies on her lips. And she's giving me that look again. Like she doesn't know me. Like she doesn't understand. And she's been looking at me like that more and more often, but it's not her fault.I curl my fingers into my hurt hand, letting the blood run back into the bandage, and there's nothing I can say. Because I can't explain to her why seeing her kissing some guy made me run away. And as she's hugging me because there's nothing. Hugs & Love, Jan" After skimming the note, I opened the refrigerator and grabbed some juice, as I finished off the carton I looked out the window at the pool. I had always liked to swim naked, but could only do so rarely. I started about a year ago, mom was at some conference two hours away, and I felt bold. Ever since then it seems whenever I have the chance to swim, or tan nude I take it. My biggest fear is my mom coming home too soon and having to explain to her why I didn't have a suit.
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